rent 'em don't buy 'em
These are decent movies - you should like these and some better than others. I think several of these are lost "gems" - flawed as they may be - that you would have avoided in the local video store, so please give extra consideration to those whose ratings are highlighted.
Jump to:
Recent Movies (so you don't have to search
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The cream of the crop (Ratings
9-10)
Standing above the crowd (Ratings 7-8)
You get what you pay for (Ratings
5-6)
The bottom of the barrel (Ratings
1-4)
My rating & Genre System
WIP - movies I want to watch but
haven't, also a movie matrix trying to show my top 10, but I have a 100 instead
| Movies (ones w/out reviews are prior to 2002 when I began to write somethings about them) | Movie Rating | Nutshell | Genre | Sound Rating | Violence Meter |
| Brothers Keeper, 1992 - This is a real life documentary that follows the insipid story of a brother who dies, the brother who is charged, and the townsfolk who for whatever reason, band behind an old, and somewhat moronic old brother. It's an interesting story of the real story behind the headlines (I don't recall all the national attention - real news footage of the gaga news media on this story is shown). | 6 | Oh brother, what have you done? | Left Brain Documentary |
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| Eight Legged Freaks - This is a send up to the glorious "B" movie, Tremors, but this time with spiders with a growing problem - After the first obligatory 15 minute setup, this is a balls-to-the-wall action movie that doesn't let up. We get to see various types of spiders and what havoc they could wreak if they were the size of a VW bug and we humans were now prey size. To me, the suspense was just not there and the alacrity of the developments (trap door spiders setting up in a parking lot and cow pen) were just too unbelievable. The motocross race with the jumping spiders was cool though. I predict this could be one of the futures bright "B" movies, that college campuses continue to play for the stoned and the drunk - but for the sober and clear-minded, this is an OK Popcorn movie that you will enjoy as a saturday night rental | 6 | The title says it all | PopCorn | |
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| Donnie Darko, 2001 - This is a weird movie. A boy who narrowly misses death seems to be manipulated by a man dressed up in a rabbit's costume. Not until you get to the end, do you start to understand what was going on the entire movie and even then, unless you have someone to discuss it with, it still is kind of confusing. | 6 | What happens if you don't die | left Brain | |
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| I capture the castle,2003 - This is an OK rental about a family whose father is a one-time writer who gets into a castle in his heyday and then stops writing. But what to do when the rent's due? How do the two daughters get out? The family is a typical hollywood family - disgruntled, weird, conniving & happy. Just the typical formula that continues to work, but sow no new ground. | 6 | Bourgeois Wannabes | Hollywood | |
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| House of Games,1987 - This is one of those wanna be film noirs centered around con games. I think the story & most of the execution was good and would have rated higher if the actress in this wasn't so friggen stiff & talked like a robot. Overall, I think this may be rated too low, as the story is really quite good but I'm leaving it hear for the moment. | 6 | Brains and Cons | Hollywood | |
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| Bad(der) Santa,2003 - this was billed as raunchy & funny. And it's true, there is a LOT of raunch in this. Of course, we have the 10 year old kid who gets to try & turn Santa around and the beautiful girl who gets turned on by a 40yr old bum. Ok, so my funny bone didn't laugh as much as others. I thought the story was pretty good and I kept hoping for a scene that would bring me to tears, but all I got was a few harumphs. | 6 | Santa, Sex and Thievery | Hollywood | |
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| Master and Commander,2003 - OK, so the scenery was great and they accurately reflect the period, but the story? Puhleese....this is just too far fetched for me. I was expecting all these great sea battles when it's really just one long ass movie with hardly any action and the payoff, when it finally does come just didn't justify all the waiting. | 6 | Mano y Mano on the high seas | Hollywood | |
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| Bounce, 2000 - Interesting premise - man gives up plane ticket for a full flight to another, plane crashes & he has an over-reaching desire to understand the former man's life - and of course falls in love with the deceased man's wife. Now it's on to try & woo her and not divulge his secret. Chick flick 101 here guys. Not bad & easy way to win points by watching it with the better half ;-) | 6 | Serendipitous lies | Date | |
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| Robin Williams - live on broadway,
2002 - OK, I'm a huge fan and I laughed my ass off at the history of golf
and other parts as well, but a lot of it fell flat. It's a decent rental and
his energy level is off the charts, but I found that I prefer his ad-lib
material to something he repeats again & again at each venue (found
that out in the special features section of the DVD).
While not violent, this is very R rated material. |
6 | Stand-up | HollyWood | |
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| Spy Game - Typical hollywood fare. More interesting than most as it delves a little bit into the Israel conflict that I found interesting. I consider this a prelude to Mission Impossible and how the agent is first brought into the service & how they manipulate the agent. | 6 | Using others | Date |
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| Spider Man. Saw this in the theater. Couldn't wait for the DVD. Pretty decent. Liked the intro to the character. However, not for the young. I wouldn't let my 7yr old watch it because it's too violent, > 10 yr old or mature 9yr old minimum. | 6 | Comic Book | Date, Family |
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| Domestic Disturbance - This is pretty much a hollywood-by-the numbers thriller with John Travolta playing the estranged dad with the kid who cries wolf. Pretty predictable, but entertaining none-the-less. | 6 | Bad, Bad StepDad | Date |
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| The Score - Another heist movie. I love both Ed Norton and Robert Dinero thought it was a good romp, although lacking in story & character development. Pretty much a heist by the numbers. I was expecting it to continue with another twist at the end. I WANTED ANOTHER TWIST DAMNIT!!!! | 6 | Heist | Hollywood, Date |
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| Bandits. It's got Billy Bob Thornton and Bruce Willis. Great chemistry. Story not so hot, but Hey, I liked it. I wish we could have seen more of his brother, the stuntman. The ending was classic, but totally predictable. | 6 | Non violent Heists | Hollywood, Date |
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| Maze - A somewhat interesting story of a artist with Turet's syndrome and a sub-plot of what occurs between him & a couple that have overcome his disease. Rob Morrow just hasn't found his niche after Northern Exposure - which I greatly enjoyed him in. This movie was OK and worth a rental, although some romanticists may like it more ;-) | 6 | Artist with a heart | Date |
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| Beautiful Mind - How to interpret what is going on in someone's mind? They try with this movie, but I thought just a little too much freedom was given to the writers. Hard for me to believe this is what was going through his mind. For achieving something so great, it seems a waste to focus on dementia that he succumbed to. The making of section, where Ron Howard freely admits not understanding his theory of economics, is the linchpin for why they gave up & went with the "sidebar" of the story. | 6 | Mind tricks | Date |
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| Ocean's Eleven. Entertaining. Pacing was good, chemistry was right on, overall a good night's movie. Doesn't leave you with any aftertaste, good or bad. So I guess what I'm saying is it's pretty formulatic and the stars don't reach for any oscars. | 6 | Heist | Date, Hollywood |
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| Hart's War - I wasn't sure what to expect, but this just and I mean just missed on the really good movie scale. Can't put my finger on what's missing, perhaps it was the fact that this is a story of a group of men who will sacrifice a lot for just a little (in comparison to life). In my opinion, the ends do not justify the means with this movie. | 6 | Too much honor | Date |
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| CQ - This is a movie about the story of how a 60's sci-fi movie was brought to life. I found it lacking in the sense that the story was side-tracked by the delusional editor and his own self-induced fantasies. I think the movie could have gone further by sticking with the plot outline and gone more in depth of how deals were made & creative juices. It definitely was a period in time that deserves some lime-light as I think of the 60's as the beginning of the corny movies to simply make a buck. From that perspective, you get some tid-bits, but nothing so satisfying you can sink your teeth into it. | 6 | 60's sci-fi | Left Brain |
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| Waking Life - Now this is real experimentation. Take a cheap digital camcorder, do several "skits" and give the raw material to artists. They then overlay the real footage with their interpretation and the result is some of the most stunning animation I have ever seen. They finally got the "walk" down. Unfortunately, the it's not so much a story as a series of vignettes and while I think it was interesting (a lot of talk of dreams & death), it's like I'm back in college listening to philosophers with VERY BIG WORDS. It's not that I didn't understand what they were saying, it's that I had to concentrate so much listening to grasp their full meaning. Some interesting thoughts & diversions, but w/out a coherent thread or story, it seemed to run long, often repeating similar philosophies. It is a very good animation though, and for that I have to recommend it as the style is very unique & inspirational. | 6 | Art-Deco Philosophy | Left Brain |
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| One Night at Mccools. OK, felt better about it the next day. Not a bad movie, but definitely a rental if you know what I mean. Woman will like it more than men as the men are easily manipulated throughout the movie. Amazing what guys will do for a nice looking woman. | 6 | Guys falls for chick | Date |
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| Fast & The Furious. This is street racing set to MTV music. It would have been better if they would have left out the dialogue altogether. This sound ROCKED on my system, but it was a pretty crappy movie. This is IDENTICAL to Point Break if you've seen that movie, but set to streets & cars instead of surfing. | 6 | High Octane Racing | Popcorn |
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| Mulholland Drive. I'm getting tired of directors who are trying to be so complicated that critics are left to saying "it's art". To me, it was predictable & I even guessed what was going on 1/2 way through it. Style a movie does not make. The story needs to be there as well as the acting. I guess the evening I watched it, I wasn't in the mood for having to think, and it pissed me off that wasted too much time thinking about it and then once I figured it out, the movie became blase and I realized the acting, photography, etc, were just not up to par with the style & complicated story telling nature of this movie. | 6 | Memento who dunnit on acid | Date, Left Brain |
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| Joe Vs the Volcano - Early Tom Hanks / Meg Ryan flick. Kind of silly, but sweet. A hypochondriac finally hears that he will die, freeing him to enjoy the last few weeks on earth. He doesn't even know how to really do that because his whole life he hasn't found himself. He doesn't by the end either. | 6 | Suicidal and boring guy meets beautiful gal | Date, Family |
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| Vanilla Sky. Lynch & Crowe must have smoked a few bowls together and thought up the ideas for their two movies in the same night. Again, to me this was similar to Mullholland Drive in that the complexity of way the movie is shot does not match the acting & the story. If you want to see a good example of how to do this movie, watch the anime gem "Perfect Blue". | 6 | Who am I and what is happening to me | Date, Left Brain |
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| Jimmy Neutron - A real letdown for me as a parent. I know my kids love it, but it lacks the adult in-jokes I've come to expect from adult animators. It just doesn't cross over the 12 yr old line. | 6 | Bouncing Marbles | Kid, Popcorn |
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| Insomnia - A pretty decent thriller that can't decide if it's about a cop who really thinks he's doing a good job - and screws up big-time and tries to cover it up, or about a child-killer who thinks he's smarter than the police. Is it me, or is Robin Williams doing a pretty good job with acting stints that are serious? Dinero sleep walks through using the same character he's played a dozen times. | 6 | Sleepless Detective | Date |
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| MothMan Prophecies - Intermixing weird paranormal activities with a great tragedy is an interesting combination, but one that in the end did not do it for me. One or the other, OK, but mixing the two didn't work at least for me. | 6 | Fiction is stranger than truth | Date, Popcorn |
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| Hollow Man - Interesting sci-fi proposition that something like this could be invented, but having the main character go psycho was unpredictable and unbelievable. I expect people's character flaws to be magnified when something huge happens (see John Travolta in Phenomenon to see what I mean), but there was no real hint that this would happen, so the movie lost me. | 6 | Power corrupts | Date, PopCorn |
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| XXX - James bond it is not. In reality, it's not that bad and you can chew threw a bag of popcorn while ... reprises his Xavier role from the Fast & the Furious. Filled with cool cars, hot babes and more okydoky stunts than you can shake a can of spam at. Basic bad-guy wants to kill lots of people and only the special agent can stop him - only in this case it's a special agent who was just recruited by keeping him out of jail. How cliche! | 6 | Agent bad-ass wannabe | PopCorn |
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| The Mummy Returns | 6 |
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| Any given Sunday | 6 |
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| Phenomenan | 6 |
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| The Running Man | 6 |
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| Michael | 6 |
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| Contact | 6 |
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| The Thomas Crown Affair | 6 |
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| Independence Day | 6 |
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| The Ref,1994 - This is an amusing movie that involves a caper gone wrong and a thief hiding out in a house with a neurotic and dysfunctional family. Can the thief stay sane and what kind of sanity can he bring to this family? | 6 | Strange bedfellows | Hollywood | |
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| The Day after Tomorrow,2004 - I avoided this movie until a friend recommended it for a decent popcorn flick - which it is. Check your brain because while it can keep you engaged - sheerly by keeping the pace ramped up to almost max - the story is ridiculous in so many ways. Actually, this would have made a much better mini-series than trying to cram so much into so little time. | 6 | Ultimate storm | Popcorn | |
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| Jersey Girl, 2004 - I anxiously
awaiting Kevin Smiths' return to the screen and I'm giving this a mixed
review. This is because I made the mistake of thinking this PG-13 movie
might be appropriate for a 10 & 11 year old. Boy was I wrong. We ended up
stopping it about 20 minutes in and kicking the boys out of the room and
began watching it again. Upon reflection, the graphic language should not
have suprised me - this is Kevin Smith after all -and he's consistent in this
regard and warning flags should have been going off way before I watched it.
Overall, it's actually a decent movie. Note: IMO, I think it deserves an R rating. |
6 | To love again | Hollywood |
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| Robots,2003 - This is a by-the-numbers Disney flick. It doesn't push the envelope and it left me wanting to watch the Incredibles again. The story is OK ... the animation is so-so...it just didn't pull me in. It reminded me of Ants, and Ants was a lot better. | 6 | Boy bot vs corporate greed | Family | n/a | |
| Winged Migration, 2001 - Pictures tell the story of all the different migrations that happen all over the world every year. While the imagery and cinematography are phenomenal, the lack of words can cause you to look at your watch once or twice. | 6 | The paths birds take | Documentary | |
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| JoyRide, 2001 - By-the-numbers stupid kids do stupid things that enrage a berserker truck driver and this truck driver chases them till the end. It's actually quite entertaining and fairly gripping - it kept me interested to the end. The DVD has some very interesting "deleted" scenes which basically show the director had lots of ideas - there is at least two or three different movies in some of these deleted scenes that range from 5-15 minutes long! | 6 | Breaker Breaker | Hollywood Popcorn |
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| Wonder boys | 6 |
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| In the Line of Fire | 6 |
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| Princess Mononoke | 6 |
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| Record of the Lodoss War | 6 |
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| Gladiator | 6 |
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| Meet Joe Black | 6 |
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| Series 7 - This is a very strange indy "tv show". It's a movie that pretends to be a "tv reality show" that perhaps gives us a look into the future into what might happen if we as a society continue to watch this drivel the networks call entertainment. A quite shocking and disturbing film, that has poor acting, poor camera work and poor sound - but isn't that the purpose of the film - to show how an everyday set of characters, being followed around by a cameraman should be portrayed, if it is to mimick a reality show? Why would we want polished actors, with great camera work to depict a reality show? This movie is really not as much entertainment as it is art, so most should shy away from this movie as while I did find it interesting, it was not that fun of a movie. | 6 | Reality Bites | Left Brain | ||
| Deep Impact | 6 |
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| Phantasm, 1979 - This was the first R rated movie I saw, when I was 15 (snuck in w/out telling my parents). Of course it has a special place in my heart. When it showed up on a bargain rack for $5.99, I couldn't resist. I found out that I can not re-live my youth through my movies I liked back then. It does give me appreciation for why all the teenie-boppers go for these stupid movies these days - I can recall my glee & excitement as I exited the movie theater and for the life of me I can't catch it all here. It is a 'B' movie, and actually not a half-bad plot, but I found myself laughing and rolling my eyes. Ahhh....my youth. | 5 | Where dead bodies go | PopCorn | |
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| Evil Dead 2,1987- This is "B" horror at it's best. So many people, directors & actors reference the Evil Dead franchise as ground-breaking & funny that I finally had to overcome my fears & watch it. It's corny, it's predictable, it's gross and it has it's moments of fun, but overall, I couldn't escape the bad acting, the B movie feel and the overall cornyness. Have I lost my funny bone? | 5 | Back woods terror | PopCorn | |
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| Blue Velvet, 1986- OK, went back & saw this again. I came away that David Lynch is so much more interested in visuals than story. Really, the story just is not there, just like the man on the street, standing with his dog in the middle of the night. What is the point, other than to be trippy? I mean, the coincidences this movie shovels down your throat border on the superstitious there are so many of them. Unexplained coincidences and luck of the draw? Huh. I get it, but it's not a good story. | 5 | Dominoes | Left Brain | |
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| Notorius Cho, 2002 - this is a
stand-up comic, Margaret Cho, a slightly porky asian girl who has a mouth on
her like chris rock - somehow, somewhere I felt like this is a movie lauded
and loved by the gay community...lots of references. However, for me, the
material was flat and just too forced. I just didn't laugh that much. I
wanted to and there were a few that had me going, but rarely two in a row
that could keep it up. While not violent, this is very R rated material. |
5 | Stand-up | HollyWood | |
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| Gangs of New York,2002 - Again, like Master & Commander, great period piece, really makes you feel like you're in New York back in the 1800's, but again the story / script falls short. This thing just drags on & on & on and there is NO payoff for all that waiting. What a whimpy ending. The film loses it's focus and brings other extraneous things in that while "accurate" to the period, really had no place in this movie. | 5 | Revenge thy father at any cost | Hollywood | |
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| Once Upon a time in Mexico,2003 - I was so looking forward to this. I love Robert Rodriguez (Desperado / Dusk till Dawn / Spy Kids) and was hoping he could resurrect the feel of Desperado. This just turns into a really bad attempt. It almost turns cartoonish at times with the stunts. Of course, Johnny Depp almost single handily brings this film from the dead, but alas, it's not enough. | 5 | Hollywood | |
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| The Village, 2004 - The mood & scene are there for a gripping horror ride, but just as the tension starts to build, it begins slipping away rather quickly to a rather blase end. | 5 | Isolated community | Hollywood | |
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| The War Room,1993 - This is kind of a blase movie about what went on behind the scenes as Bill Clinton was running for president (the first time). It shows some interesting things as the camera follows the inner workings of the campaign staff. Nothing really taboo happens and while it was kind of interesting, it left me wanting. | 5 | The people behind Bill | Documentary | |
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| Better off Dead, 1985 - This is a so-so movie that tries to be funny - a guy loses his girlfriend and is torn between doing anything to get her back or killing himself - and can't decide which way to go - but doesn't pull it off. It doesn't entirely disappoint either. Better than most anything you can catch on TV, but you can do a lot better with other movies. | 5 | Broken Teenage heart | Hollywood | |
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| Monsters Ball - So all an actress has to do is to show some T & A and fake an orgasm to get an oscar? PUH-LEEESE this is utter rubish. Even Billy-Bob can't resurrect this movie. I thought it was 60 minutes longer than it needed to be to tell the story. To me, there was no motivation to why these two characters hooked up. Simply writing that they get together with no real reason and acting it out does not make a good movie. | 5 | Prejudice is not in the heart | Date |
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| Mall Rats - This is by far my
least favorite film of the New Jersey 5 - Films by Kevin Smith. Perhaps
it's my inability to believe 20 somethings actually want to hang out at
the mall. The humor fell flat throughout a large part of this movie. True,
there were some very funny scenes, but most scenes seemed forced and the
chemistry just wasn't there for me.
Warning! While not violent, this movie does contain more than the average amount of crude swearing and defamatory remarks. |
5 | Love, Revenge and the Mall | Left Brain |
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| Orange County - This is just an almost boring story with a almost boring central character who doesn't do anything special. Even Jack Black can't redeem this & I found him annoying rather than funny. For those of you interested in trivia, this was Colin Hanks' (Tom Hanks' son) first real starring role. | 5 | Whiny rich kids | Hollywood |
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| Star Wars Episode 2. For the life of me, anyone who thinks episode 2 is better than 1 needs to have their head examined. This movie has got to be the worst of any of the star wars saga. What a letdown. The middle 1-hour was paced way too slow & it's like Lucas is saying "Hey guys, this is really, really compicated, so I need to connect all the dots for you and you know what? It's boring as sin. B-O-R-I-N-G. Yawn. Even my seven year old was yawning & putting his head on momma's lap. Ok, so I figure Palpatine had a hand in Anakin's mom's death and ok, so the emporer's grand plan is to get the two sides of the galaxy fighting each other so a lot of jedi get killed (when are the "jedi wars" happening anyhoot??) and then Palpatine can pick up the pieces. WTF is it with Dooko? I guess he's just the replacement for darth maul? The picture sucked big time in the theater I was at. I'm curious to see it on a digital theater to see if I would like it any better, but to be brutally honest and this is saying a lot, the scenes in gladiator looked more realistic than in Episode 2. Blech. From what I've read, it's the digital-analog transfer that sucks. It'll be nice to get it on DVD and check it out at home. | 5 | Chapter too | Family |
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| Being There - Peter Sellers' classic that I really didn't find that groundbreaking, despite many critics awesome reviews. It just seemed like a story of a man who by not saying much, is believed to be far more intelligent and powerful than he really is. The end shot of him walking across water told me "that people who are oblivious don't have to follow the laws" (where laws can have a lot of interpretation) | 5 | Obliviousness | Left Brain |
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| Medium Cool - This was on Roger Eberts "Overlooked film festival" of 2003 and while I like to expand my horizons, I found this to have very little redeeming qualities outside of the fact that you get a glimpse of some of what was going on in Chicago during the late 60's, from a T.V. Perspective. "Everyone is watching" is kind of the tagline. | 5 | T.V. Camerman POV | Left Brain |
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| Blade II - I bought this because I read where many people were saying this was "demo material" for home theaters. Utter rubbish. I was hood-winked. I so wanted this to be like the original and while I think the 2nd followed up on the action category, blade remained so one-dimensional it bored me a little bit. Also, the reapers were just a little over the edge in stomach turning gore. | 5 | Reaper madness | Popcorn |
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| Fantastic Planet - this is one of the first "adult" animations and while it received quite a few good reviews, it's pretty abstract and the story reminded me of a book I had to read in grade school - FlatLand. I wouldn't be surprised if some of the animators also worked on Pink Floyd - The Wall. This is a critics type of movie and while the "nipple tweaking" excitement wasn't there for me, it was something that I'm glad I watched - if only to be introduced into an abstract movie. | 5 | Dweebles, Feebles, Pets and Revolution | Left Brain |
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| Moulin Rouge - Think "Shakespeare in Love" meets the musical "Knight's Tale". Music was distracting. Songs were inter-twined and to the "wrong" beat. Instead of a homage as the director may have intended, I thought it blasphemy. His interpretation of the music was not good, but then to each his own. | 5 | Musical | Date |
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Jump to:
Recent Movies (so you don't have to search
if you've been here before)
The cream of the crop (Ratings
9-10)
Standing above the crowd (Ratings 7-8)
You get what you pay for (Ratings
5-6)
The bottom of the barrel (Ratings
1-4)